Have you been in a situation where you were driving and a car honking behind you made you lose your temper?
You see, most people nowadays, don’t know how to control frustration and anger.
The root cause of anger and frustration is when things are not done YOUR WAY. When things are not done according to you, you start to fume.
In this blog, I will teach you how to control frustration and anger. I will tell you some creative ways to deal with anger that I use.
So, Let us start…
1. Focus on the solution:
When we lose our temper, we go into a different zone. At that moment, the only thing we focus on is to express anger. Instead of coming out with the solution to a problem, we choose to express anger.
Because the thought of focusing on the solution doesn’t even come to our mind.
So, it’s important to go over situations in your head when you are in a good mood and start to think about the solutions. By doing this every day, you will reprogram your subconscious mind to think about the solutions instead of expressing anger.
This anger management technique will definitely teach you how to control anger.
2. Leave the argument:
You see, When we have an argument with someone, we go back and forth explaining ourselves. To know how to deal with anger and frustration, consider leaving the arguments. As soon as you realize that you are starting to lose your temper, Leave the argument. It’s better to leave than to make things worse.
When I notice myself losing my temper while having an argument with my friends or even family, I leave the place. There were times I could have made things worse because of my anger but leaving the situation saved me.
Now, one may say, I zone out when I lose my temper. How can I be more present so that I spot the feeling of anger in me?
The answer is meditation
Meditation helps to bring the mind back to the present.
Consider making meditation your new habit. Do it for 30 minutes every day as soon as you wake up. Your focus should be on your breath and when your mind starts to think about random things, bring your focus back to the breath. In the beginning, You will feel very uncomfortable to sit 30 minutes but you have to focus on your breath again and again whenever your mind wanders off.
After 20 days, you will start to catch your mind whenever it wanders off from the present moment.
Now, how will this help you to be more present when you lose control?
When you will lose control, you will immediately catch your brain zoning out. It will happen automatically as you have built the habit of coming back to the present.
Once you are back in the present, you can then decide however you want to act. Meditation will help to reduce the feeling of frustration and anger by making you come back to the present.
4. Look at others point of view
When we get into an argument, we try to enforce our opinion on others. We disagree with another person’s opinion. We want things to go OUR WAY. To not let anger and frustration control you, start looking at what other people are trying to say. Understand their point of view and then make a decision about whether you are right or wrong.
If you are right then tell the other person why their point of view is wrong. It is important to first understand both sides of the story and then come to a conclusion.
Understanding what another person is trying to say will automatically make you calmer. And that is how to control frustration and anger.
5. Realize that you have a choice
To control the feeling of anger, it is important to understand that you have a choice. A choice of not acting out of anger. A choice of not acting out of frustration. If you say that anger controls me then it’ll be hard for you to control the anger.
Think like this…
Do you lose your temper in front of your boss? You don’t right? You know your actions will have certain consequences so you don’t allow yourself to act that way. Whereas you chose to act out of anger when you are with your friends and family.
Because there are no such big consequences. You make the choice to act out of anger. So, until and unless you don’t accept that you have a choice, you won’t be able to know how to control anger. When you have a choice, it’s easier to control emotions.
So, instead of saying “My anger controls me, start to say “I have a choice”.
Focusing on the solution, Leaving the argument, Meditation, Understanding what others are trying to say, and last but not least, Realizing you have a choice will teach you how to control frustration and anger.
I hope you liked today’s article.
I will see you tomorrow because I post self-improvement articles every day.